INTRO:

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar


THESE PAGES: Oh, there you are, it’s so good to see you, it’s so good to see you, standing right at my door, I wish you could stay. Well, how’s your girlfriend? How’s that going? She never liked me, oh I wish you could stay. It might be an ordinary day, but it seems like more than that to me… Lines on my forehead, from trying to thread the needle of this idea, without letting you know it. If you said I could I’d throw the maps right out the window, take the longest way home. So I change the subject and I put on my best smile, so you won’t notice, so you won’t notice what’s wrong. So don’t you ask me, no please don’t ask me, ‘cause I don’t dare tell you, exactly what’s on my mind. It might be an ordinary day, but it seems like more than that to me… I’ve gathered these pages of words left unspoken, letters I didn’t send you would fall right from my fingers. If you said I could put my hands where I want to, set fire to the bedroom. If you said I could put it all out on the table, throw the maps right out the window… Oh there you are, it’s so good to see you, it’s so good to see you, I wish you could stay…

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals, electric guitar
Reed Chambers – drums
Andy Rice – upright bass
Sebastian Renfield – ambient electric guitar, violins (string arrangement)
Merrill Garbus – backing vocals


SO IT GOES: You pack your sweaters for the fall and the flowers die in their garden rows and the warm words can’t help at all, everybody knows... You’re trying to find a compromise between remembering and learning to forget, so now just pouring a glass of water is like trying to move boulders with your breath. It’s so hard to see it all, she tries to hold you in the night, but you’re shaking you’re crying out, praying for sleep to bless your bedside. That’s right, so it goes, the whole world folds over you. Pack your handkerchief and your best shoes… Reconciliation of guilt and grief, it’s the hardest battle you’ve tried to win and now every year you grit your teeth as it cuts you underneath your skin. Oh and Sunday mornings don’t bring you solace, you are firm in your disbelief but you hold tight to that old promise; you are waiting for the spring, you are waiting for the spring. That’s right, so it goes, the whole world folds over you. Pack your handkerchief and your best shoes…Don’t leave me breathing, no not alone, there’s so much more I meant to tell you, I went by with flowers, just to see, but the granite told me you’re still gone.... Don’t leave me breathing, no not alone, there’s so much more I meant to tell you… I went by with flowers, just to see, but the granite told me you’re still gone....

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals
Reed Chambers – drums
Andy Rice – upright bass
Sebastian Renfield – banjo, backing vocals
David Goodrich – acoustic guitars
Merrill Garbus – backing vocals


SWANN SONG: Yeah, I could tell you lots of things. I grew up on the bay. I used to race my sisters up the fence-side to Mr. Medley’s place. Papa ran the general store and mama did everything and the waves and the waves and the sea. Time brought me here like a fishing boat at the whim of the Atlantic breeze. It was a good life, yeah it was a good life, I’d do it all again. I joined the Navy Nurses Corp., it was 1941 and I met my sailor in that fated harbor in the days before the bombs came…Hail Mary, I made it home, ‘til I was laughing as my ship went down, singing and bailing water right back to the shores of San Francisco town. It was a good life, yeah it was a good life, I’d do it all again. I was hitched out in Reno, I stayed at home and he went out to sweep the mines. I’ll never forget the day we heard it on the radio, it was the end of the war…and we laughed and cried and cheered and laughed again... yeah we cried and cheered like it would be the last one. Yeah sure, yeah sure I’ve wished for things, I wish I had been there the day that Nancy drowned. I wish I hadn’t seen them build a highway, a highway right through my backyard. But you just learn to love the little things, I’ve lived long enough to know. And I’m still waving from this front porch and this is still my swan song. It was a good life, it was a good life, I’d do it all again, I’d do it all again….

For my grandmother, Margaret Swann Dye.

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals
Reed Chambers – drums/percussion
Andy Rice – upright bass
David Goodrich – acoustic guitars
Jazer Giles – piano

COME BACK HOME: Maybe I won’t give you a chance to untangle all your stories... I’ll be as graceful as a bird now, following the skyline… and I’ll land resting on the first thing that doesn’t bear your name…I already took all the pictures down. It’s record highs out on the west coast, it’s another week of snow here, oh how quickly we’ve forgotten, just how we ended up here…You know I dared you like a child and then you only upped the ante, and now you’re stealing summer kisses and I am freezing in my bed sheets, and that’s why, that’s why…I’ve got walls, I’ve got wings, I am ready for the fire…I’ve got trust in nothing, see I lost it by and by, but I’ve got something shining somewhere, honey I dream on the sly…won’t you come back home? Won’t you come back home? There are terrors deep inside me that are screaming bloody hell and I’m trying to keep my hands from shaking while you tell me where you’ve been, darlin’ what is it you’re doing, with that hammer to my heart? You tell me you don’t know, but there you are again, you tell me you don’t know… So take another breath, open your eyes, see this is what you get, yeah it serves you right, and when it’s all said and done, it always seems so predictable, predictable and that’s why, that’s why…. I’ve got walls, I’ve got wings, I am ready for the fire…I’ve got trust in nothing, see I lost it by and by, but I’ve got something shining somewhere, honey I dream on the sly…that you’ll come back home, that you’ll come back home, that you’ll come back home….


Chris Pureka – acoustic guitars, lead electric guitar, lead vocals, backing vocals
Sebastian Renfield – ambient guitar, backing vocals
David Goodrich – ambient noise guitar


MOMENTARY THIEF: Well I never won you over, I just caught you on a good day… We were laughing in the back of an old city taxi, with no mention of my borrowed time, just the glow of the whiskey and the holiday lights. Well there’s no need to name this, because we’re just going to call it a day… so you can run out in the front yard and wave goodbye to the plane... But I remember the corner, the bar and the moment that I came un-tethered and fell, into that scene from my favorite movie, yeah you know the one…. Well, I’ll tell you what, I’ll save you the trouble of running away. Yeah I’ll tell you what, I’ll save you the trouble of running away, yeah I’m already gone out the door and I stole this moment for me, this moment for me…. Well you’re no kind of contrast to all my somber ways, we may as well have a picnic darlin’ out in the driving, pouring rain, but I’ll just carry on, pretend that’s just how I’m inclined. So you better grab a hold of something, steady, steady, ‘cause I’m cutting the line…But I remember your shoulder, your breath and the moment, that I came un-tethered and danced, into that dream, the one where you kiss me and then the camera flashed…Well, I’ll tell you what, I’ll save you the trouble of running away. Yeah I’ll tell you what, I’ll save you the trouble of running away, yeah I’m already gone out the door and I stole this moment for me, this moment for me, this moment for me, indelible and bright….


Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals
Allison Miller – drums
Lyndell Montgomery – bass, electric violin
David Goodrich – electric guitar


EVERYTHING IS FREE:

by Gillian Welch/David Rawlings (Irving Music, Inc./Bug Music Obo Cracklin’ Music) (originally recorded on Time (The Revelator) (2001))

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals
Jesse Freidin – drums
Sebastian Renfield – electric guitar, backing vocals



COMPASS ROSE: Well I’m lost today, I’m almost wandering back to the door that slammed in my face, oh but here I am, here I am, here I’ll stay… But when will the street signs stop pointing west, when will my thoughts stop drifting like smoke over the ridge to the trail we used to walk?… Oh does it sound familiar? The whole thing fades to black and then you’re waiting, waiting for it to burn again….Well I’m lost today, I won’t deny it, I’m going to lay down and wait for the compass rose under my skin to start to glow. But look how the sun has painted the trees, all these colors never known to them, colors never known to their leaves…I’d like to sing like that. Oh does it sound familiar? The whole thing fades to black and then you’re waiting, waiting for it to burn again….But I know that someday, someday, I’ll offer up a song I was made to play until even the mocking birds don’t know what to say and the mornings just make sense, sense, oh yeah… And where the dawn went I don’t know… just hang a white flag out the window, until the sunlight shines through it, well is it morning yet? I’m lost today, here I am wandering, it’s late and I’m sure noticing the crook of my arm is lonely…But look how the snow has painted the town so that all of the street light is dancing, dancing around…I’d like to love like that. Does it sound familiar? But I know that someday, someday I’ll offer up all my Sunday afternoons until the rocking chairs have gone and worn right through the paint on the porch floor and we’re grey and grey and gone, gone, gone…..

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals
Reed Chambers – drums
Andy Rice – upright bass
Sebastian Renfield – banjo, backing vocals
Merrill Garbus – fiddle, backing vocals


31 AND FALLING: Well you call again, as if I don’t know what you’re going to say….So let it ring, I can count the cracks in the ceiling all day long. I guess the birds they just went south, but I’ve got no where to go, it’s 31 and falling, I’ve been dreaming of you darling, in case you’d like to know… God damn my wasted time, ringing all the bells. If I could hold my tongue, just long enough to get me through the door then you won’t know… rewind the tape while your back is turned, fold my arms and pull the curtains closed, bury the roses in the backyard and darlin’ never mind what I might have said, before, before, God damn my wasted time, ringing all the bells…I’ve got half a mind to lie to you half a mind to tell you everything I have to tell, to tell, to tell. I’ve been wasting my time I know I know better, and I’m tired of waxing sentimental, I’m tired of saying please, please, tired of waiting, I’m tired of waiting. You call again, as if I don’t know what you’re going to say….

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals, electric guitar
Allison Miller – drums, percussion
Lyndell Montgomery – bass
Sebastian Renfield – ambient guitar, backing vocals
Merrill Garbus – backing vocals
Jazer Giles - piano


CRUEL AND CLUMSY: You’ve been low, you’ve been thinking about the last time, but I know there’s still a window that leads outside... Sweet air through the summer screen, tall grass and warm stones, where are you today? ‘cause you’re missing it all… You were twisting the lens, but it never stayed in focus, so you laid on your bed, and just lost track of the seasons… And now you know the feel of cold steel to temple and you know the feel of razor to wrist and you’re lost in a room that rocks back and forth like a ship deck… Sweet air through the summer screen, tall grass and warm stones, where are you today? ‘cause you’re missing it all… But we never explain why we treasure our secrets, how we’re in love with our sadness sometimes… But you wanted something you saw in the sunset, so don’t you leave here ‘til you know what it is and let’s turn to the west and let’s turn up the music and let’s hope it’s always as good as this… Life is cruel and it’s clumsy (but we never explain) I wish I could say that it’s better than that (why we treasure our secrets) but this is our time (how we’re in love with our sadness sometimes) this is all that we have ‘til we turn out the lights…Life is cruel and it’s clumsy save its very best moments (but we never explain) I wish I could say that it’s better than that (why we treasure our secrets) but this is our time (how we’re in love with our sadness sometimes) this is all that we have ‘til we turn out the lights….

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals
Sebastian Renfield – ambient electric guitar, backing vocals
Merrill Garbus – fiddle, backing vocals
David Goodrich – electric thumb piano


DRYLAND: Well I slide through the days or drink them like water, hope I’ll wake up again to a sparrow song… I’m holding myself, waiting and waiting in the belly of a boat, praying for dryland… Well the key that’s in question, I tied it to the end of a kite-string on a windy day. Well, you can have it if you find it, but the last time I saw it it was heading north to the mountain-lands and here I am…. Turning in circles, watching the hour hand passing me by… all these saltwater days until it finally seems like the north star is returning to the night sky, to my night sky….So I made a little room, up on the top shelf and I won’t hold that place dog-eared anymore, no which is to say life just goes on dear, which is to say sometimes I miss you like hell… I’m holding myself, waiting and waiting in the belly of a boat, praying for dryland, I’m holding myself, waiting and waiting in the belly of a boat, praying for dryland…I can slide through the days or drink them like water hope I’ll wake up again to a morning song….

Chris Pureka – acoustic guitar, vocals








Produced by Chris Pureka.
Additional production by Sebastian Renfield and Mark Alan Miller.
Engineered and mixed by Mark Alan Miller at Slaughterhouse Recording, Westhampton, MA.
Additional engineering by Jonathan Hebert.
Mastered by Jeff Lipton at Peerless Mastering, Newton, MA. Assistant mastering engineer: Jessica Thompson.
All songs written by Chris Pureka © 2006 (Sad Rabbit Music, ASCAP) except “Everything Is Free” by Gillian Welch/David Rawlings (Irving Music, Inc./Bug Music Obo Cracklin’ Music) (originally recorded on Time (The Revelator) (2001))
Front cover and other weathered photos provided by Margaret Swann Dye.
Photograph of Chris: Sebastian Renfield
Design concept and layout: Chris Pureka
Additional graphic layout and formatting: Meghan Dewar (Sketchie Design)

Special Thanks To:
- My family.
- My friends; especially Merrill, Sam, Christen, Ren, and Andrea.
- Sebastian Renfield and Mark Alan Miller.
- Christen Greene and Faux Pas Productions.
- All the contributing artists for their time, talent and support: Allison Miller, Andy Rice, David Goodrich, Jazer Giles, Jesse Freidin, Lyndell Montgomery, Merrill Garbus, Reed Chambers, and Sebastian Renfield.
- Lori Peters at Mad Mission Music.
- Alix Olson, Andrea Gibson, David Goodrich, Girlyman, Gregory Alan Isakov, Kris Delmhorst, Pamela Means, and Peter Mulvey for their support and artistic greatness.
- All of these folks: Eva Moss, Rob Dorit and the Dorit Lab, Sylvia Dizon, Hana Malhas and Lazy Sunday, Kristen Gass, Gillian Reynolds, Matt Haven, the folks at CDBaby and the folks at Goldenrod.
- David Goodrich for the use of his vintage Martin and Jill Berlin for the use of her 1965 d-35 Martin.
- All of you who support my music and independent music in general.

www.chrispureka.com
management and booking: Christen Greene, faux pas productions


© chris pureka 2016